The truth about asking and accepting help is that it's probably always going to feel wrong and create a sense within us mothers. We naturally feel this way because no one has the connection and bond with our children. Therefore, allowing someone else to take care of us not only makes us feel uneasy, but also like were failing.
I have learned that feeling like a failure is a common feeling within motherhood. Some days you feel like you knocked it out of the park and you've really got the hand of this whole raising the next generation thing, but then the other 90%, you feel like you couldn't be screwing them up more. The short naps, the waking up 5+ times a night, forgetting what time you fed them last, the piles of laundry.
But the truth is, you're not failing! You are actually doing the most important job there is! You are carrying the load of 20 people as on, all while taking care of someone that thinks you are their entire world. You are doing better than you think, even if that feels like a lie. It's okay if your baby is still in the same clothes from last night, if you're just quickly rinsing the bottles out because you forgot to clean the bottles that seem never ending, and if you're using the same burp cloth from this morning. As long as your baby is fed, changed, clothed, and breathing, you're doing the best job you can!
You are carrying an extreme load, but you can't carry that load alone forever. Again, it will feel beyond hard and uncomfortable, but before you can take care of everyone else, you have to take time for yourself. So, while it will feel somewhat wrong, lean on the community you have. If you don't have a community, find one! even if it's just having someone watch the baby monitor while you get a non-rushed, uninterrupted, everything shower, or having your parents watch your baby for the night while you and your partner have a date night, lean into that special time alone, and enjoy it. Even if you feel guilty.
